Vanity

*I posted this as a note on Facebook in 2009 (before I had a blog). I'm transferring it here so my kids can read it. Enjoy.
---------------------------------------
Once a month, Clay plays bass guitar at church. I love it, he is one SEXY bass player.
(Yes, it IS possible to be sexy in church.)

Unfortunately, the music responsibility requires him to leave earlier than the rest of the family. 
Without my dear husband to point out food between my teeth or let me know if toilet paper is stuck to my shoe, I have recently managed to get myself into some interesting "situations".

The last Sunday he was gone, I showed up to church with my dress on backward... yep, backward.
I had a sweater on to cover up all the buttons and embellishments that were now on my BACK instead of my front (so it actually looked "normal"-ish) but I headed to the bathroom and switched it around once I noticed.
And today...

Well, let me start at the beginning:

Our church is full of lovely people, but we have not established many close friendships yet. Because of this, I find myself with a stronger desire to be "liked". Although, I know that clothing does not determine "likability",  my desire to please had me standing in my closet this morning - frustrated over which jacket I should wear with my brown skirt. With every option slung haphazardly around the room, I picked one and moved on to another important dilemma - shoes. I had a golden flipflop on my left foot and a dainty brown sandal on my right. I decided on the latter, then gathered up kids to pile in the car.

After depositing the kids in their proper classes, I headed to the service. Before I got there, I had the sensation that one of my shoes was slightly higher than the other - and I cringed. Looking down, I felt myself blush. You see, I may have decided to wear the brown sandal, but I neglected to put its mate on my left foot. I was wearing two COMPLETELY different shoes.

Enter: Vanity

Any given day, I would gladly go out in public wearing mismatched shoes - on a dare.

I would show up in church wearing facepaint - if I had a good reason.

I am generally not too proud to make a fool of myself, but I discovered this morning that I AM vain. I will act ridiculous on my own terms, but my chest tightens at the thought of being laughed at for doing something genuinely "dumb".

I had to fix this mistake! So I sent a text to my husband and headed for home.
My vanity cried, "What is wrong with me? Two months in a row? I hope no one noticed!"

I  had a 30 minute round-trip to contemplate the reason I was driving home. 

It was God, my vanity, and me - all locked in a car.

By the time I got back to church, God and I had decided that vanity didn't belong.

I honestly wish I would not have changed my mismatched shoes.
I wish I would have unevenly walked in to listen to my husband play guitar. My shoes would have brought giggles to many church friends, been great for a conversation starter...and it would have better represented the person I WANT to be.

I want to be someone who doesn't need the validation of others to comprehend my great worth.
I want others to see the trust I have in God at ALL times - and that He can use our foibles for His glory.

I hope I can carry this little lesson with me. I plan to share it with my children.

I hope we can all find the positive in our "less-than-perfect" moments and trust that God made us for His GLORY - even in our mismatched shoes.

This is cracking me up. I don't know how this photo ended up at the bottom of this post, but I am leaving it BECAUSE my first thought was, "Does that bowling ball make my butt look big?"
Seriously. That is how insane my vanity can be. Ridiculousness. Still learning...6 years later.