Not Such A Bad Day

It was a rough weekend. The Indiana State Robotics Tournament was held in Indianapolis, and my boys went in feeling like they had something to prove. They had won a lot of tournaments, and their skills score was the highest in the world; so they had bit of a target on their backs.
During the season, my boys learned that victory has its downside. All year long, tournaments required them to compete against kids on their own team. Winning meant that friends lost. When this happened repeatedly, teammates didn't always feel like celebrating with them. (This makes COMPLETE sense. It's human nature, but it was hard on them at times.) When they broke the world record, they started getting attention worldwide. They received some encouragement at first; but things soon turned ugly. The robotics community, those whom they will compete against at Vex Worlds, started pointing out and focusing on their weaknesses. My boys planned to use the State Tournament to help prove that the criticism was undeserved.
It didn't work out like they hoped. Gears on their robot motors started shattering, and they had no idea why. They spent the day repairing the robot, competing, and then repairing the robot again.  It was hard to watch. Family members had driven hours to support them, and all hearts were hurting for these kids whose shoulders were sagging. Clay's 89-year-old dad, Grandpa Rassi, was taking it all in and soon leaned over to me to say, "Well, sometimes you have good days, and some days there's water in the basement."

I think this is my new life motto.
With one quick statement, I had a new perspective. You see, we had recently lived through the hard work and chaos of a flooded, finished basement. Our basement had been the robotics team hangout. It had a game field in it and allowed the different students to work on robots outside of regular school hours. Twenty years of dry basement was no match for this year's thaw combined with days of rain. Two weeks before the State tournament, our basement had water in it for 3 days. We pumped it out, and more kept coming in. The carpet and the drywall were destroyed, but we were able to save all the "stuff".
Our boys worked alongside us. They witnessed the destruction. They saw us praise God during the hard. It was an unforgettable life experience. Since then, we have been living in crazy. All things that were in the basement are now in our living room, our bedrooms, and our foyer. We spend every spare moment cleaning and rebuilding as we recover the basement. Our lives were full before: now they are exhausting. The state tournament struggle was just "one more thing" on a long list of things that haven't gone our way lately...but with one simple statement, Grandpa gave us an alternative viewpoint. Yes, the day was hard, but the boys learned ways that they need to improve their robot. They learned about holding their heads high despite what other people may think, and they learned about perseverance. We can focus on the good from the day and keep remembering that any day when there ISN'T water in the basement may not be such a bad day after all.

Missing My Kids Already

Lately, my heart keeps aching when I look at Micah. He's seventeen, a junior, and absolutely awesome. In 18 months, he will head off to college, and I am suddenly seeing the whole world through a different lens. I am soaking in every interaction with him. I admire him from afar. How can I possibly go without seeing this favorite person of mine EVERY. SINGLE. DAY?

Then it hit me.
God feels this way about me.

He really adores us. He made us for His pleasure. He appreciates each of our unique gifts and purposes in this world. He is excited to watch us live them out...even when we fail. We are His children. He loves to watch us persevere. He gives us strength to endure. He LIKES us and yearns for relationship with us.

Revelation 4:11 - Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and FOR THY PLEASURE they are and were created. (KJV)

We bless God when we choose to be in His presence, to talk to Him, to listen for what He has to say to us.
To clarify: I'm not talking about hours on the couch up to our elbows in study and prayer. This is needed, but we were meant for lighter (and even light-hearted) interactions too. You know, the ones that don't require "work". The ones that can happen all day long.
"I see what you did there, God."
"Jesus, you can still use that stupid thing I said to get glory for yourself, right? Do I need to apologize? What do I need to learn?"
"Dang, Holy Spirit! You rock."

When Clay and I were trying to heal, I needed eye-contact and conversation. Clay knew this, so he would sit on the couch, look at me, and say, "What do you want to talk about?"
This didn't go well.
It became work.
We would stare at each other (awkward, not intimate) or avoid eye-contact, or we would end up in an argument. We did much better if we played a game, took a walk, or did some other activity which allowed us to look at each other while accomplishing something OTHER than just talking. When the pressure was off, conversation could just FLOW OUT OF US.

Too often, we are like that with God. We need to quit pressuring ourselves about what we are "supposed to be accomplishing" and simply choose to look at Him, be available to Him. The rest can take care of itself. If we seek Him, we will find Him. As intimacy grows, we'll have cravings to KNOW Him by reading His word. It doesn't have to be work.

I think God longs for us when we don't spend time with him each day, but not in a way where he NEEDS us...just in a way where he ENJOYS us. We don't need to feel shame or avoid God if we neglect our time with Him, we just need to correct that issue and connect. There are people in your life that you haven't talked to for YEARS and you still feel free to call them up because your conversation will pick right back up where you left off. Jesus is one of those people.
Sure, He could always admire us from a distance; but how much more joy does it bring a parent to have meaningful interaction and friendship with their child? It's why we had them! The same goes for God. It's why He made you. Bless Him by acknowledging His love for you and worship Him for it.  Just look at Him, you'll see it...and what a blessing you will receive right back!
He loves you IMMEASURABLY more than ANYONE has ever loved you.
Grasping even a portion of that truth is life changing.

Any doubt about the joy that a child's interaction can bring to a parent?
Just look at Clay's face. I imagine God looking at us that way.

When Evan Heard From God

A long time ago (when I used to consider myself a blogger) I wrote about one goose-bumpy, Jehovah Shammah (God is there) moment that happened when our boys were tiny. *click the link to read it* Our family has many of these moments, and I love to share them. The world knows that God is big...but our testimonies are often how others learn to understand how much He cares about little ol' us.

Today's Jehovah Shammah moment once again involves my son, Evan. He is fifteen now, and I think he could use this reminder (and a warm, fuzzy feeling) today.

Years ago, I sent the boys to their rooms to spend time "alone with God". I wanted to encourage them to talk to God and set aside special time in their days to meditate on His word and His works.
Evan came out of his room and announced, "God told me to take my Bible when we run our errands today. He wants me to read it to people in the world."

Evan was an emotional little boy and prone to telling "stories". My eyebrow raised at this proclamation of hearing God's voice, so I told him that he could take his Bible - but he should probably only read it to someone if they ASKED him to read it to them. He picked out a special passage and was ready for the occasion.

That precious little blonde-haired angel carried his Bible to the bank, through Aldi, and through almost all the aisles in Walmart until he looked at me, discouraged.
"Mom, NOBODY has asked me to read my Bible to them."
I didn't want his desire to go unanswered, but I also knew if God had REALLY told him to bring his Bible, that he would get a chance to read it. So I asked him if he had prayed for God to bring the right person to him, someone who really needed to hear. Right there, in aisle five, my sweet first-grader prayed. His tiny, high voice humbly asked God for help.

We were just about done shopping, so it wasn't long before we headed to the cash register. When it was our turn to check out, the cashier looked up and noticed Evan...
Cashier: "Whatcha got there?"
Evan: *beaming* "My Bible. Would you like me to read you something?"
Cashier: *glances my way* "Why sure."

In a clear voice, he read about the fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5...and the cashier's eyes filled with tears.

Cashier: "Thank you. I really needed to hear those words today. That means a lot."
Evan: "You're welcome! I KNEW someone needed me to read my Bible!"
Cashier: "Well, thanks so much for bringing it."

Jehovah Shammah. God answers the prayers of children...his children.
(That means you too.)
When we seek, we find.
Lord, help us to look at you today, to see your glory and give you praise, to ask for help, and to see the opportunities you want to provide. We could all use some extra warm-fuzzy moments that focus on you.
Amen.

Becky

Rebuilding Our Shattered Marriage

My marriage was a solid, beautiful, glass vase that wasn't strong enough to survive hitting a concrete floor. (Imagine that.)
I often treated my husband, Clay, as if he had picked up the vase and thrown it at the ground; but in reality, we gradually nudged that vase closer and closer to the edge of the counter until one day when we were in the throws of making excuses for our poor behavior, we threw our hands out and our marriage sailed through the air and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces on the hard surface below.

It has been a long process to pick up all the pieces and glue them back together. It has taken years of reaching into the brokenness. Each time we put out our hand to pick up a sliver, we knew that we would most likely get wounded. We were often tentative. Shards dug deep. We ended up bloody. It hurt, and yet we kept reaching toward wholeness. We could see something beautiful forming. The Holy Spirit was the glue holding us together. We trusted that the sacrifice was going to be worth it.

A few months ago, this analogy of the vase came to me. Vividly.
The truth of it resonated deep within me. It was a gift from God. This mental picture changed me and exponentially sped up our healing process.
After this revelation, each time I wanted to be mad at Clay, each time I wanted to be a martyr because I hurt so badly, I began to stop and TRULY look at him. I revisited the vase and saw Clay's bloody hands. I saw him still reaching into the broken glass at great cost to himself. I saw love...even though I may not have FELT it. Clay was still choosing US, and God's supernatural grace began filling our home.

We wanted to like each other again, but had no idea how to get there. Walls were up. We could not find victory on our own. We started praying that God's Holy Spirit would fill us, and HIS will would be done. In each of us. Through our marriage. For HIS glory.
Once we truly BELIEVED that prayer, God was able to move.

It's only been a few months, but I wanted to share: by the grace of God, our marriage has been healed. Life is still challenging. We are still human. Life is still messy, but we are ONE.
Team players. Friends. Lovers.
We have been undone. We were brought to our knees, and I am here praising God for all of the hard because we learned so very much. For this, I am truly thankful.

Dear brother or sister, know that prayer is our superpower. It's YOUR superpower.
When we pray that God gets glory through our lives, that HIS will (not our will) is done, our lives change. God is so immensely faithful.
And THEN, we get to tell others about the journey.
Great is the Lord and worthy of praise.
-Becky

P.S. I just had Clay read this and he said, "If you didn't know our story, you'd think I had an affair." I want to clarify that he did NOT indeed have an affair. Click here to read the story of our decline. On that note, know that God can even heal the type of shattering that comes from that kind of unfaithfulness - if we seek His face.