Thursday, October 2, 2014

Guy Emotions

Fellow Mother-of-boys, Rhonda Schrock, wrote a blog post in which she asked for a translator. She was searching for any avenue to better understand the alien men with whom she lives. As she wrote, she marveled, "Imagine if a burp said, 'That was a fabulous meal. You are a queen among women, and your knack with a skillet is unrivaled.'"

Well, Rhonda, you may be on to something!
Her blog got me thinking about a conversation I had with my own alien husband.

I was using my feminine, verbal way to communicate deep love to my handsome man when my eyes crossed and the room became blurry. I was forced to stop speaking because I couldn't catch my breath. Clay, my other half, had dropped a gas-bomb and ruined my sweet moment.
It was silent, but deadly...and there was no warning.

That fateful day, in an attempt to calm the storm within me which was caused by the wind that escaped him, my husband shared a little secret which has helped me understand the male gender on a whole new level.
Dial in women, what I am about to share with you could save you YEARS of frustration.

We all know that many men struggle to emote in ways that satisfy women, but Clay took this opportunity to inform me that his gender is actually FULL of emotions which are dying to get out. Problematically, those feelings (in a male body) happen to be stored in gas form...which smells like it's been dead for years.
I was dumbfounded!
This means that all those expulsions I've dealt with for decades could have, quite possibly, been expressions of love!

Just last week, when we sang "Happy Birthday" to my youngest son while bringing him breakfast in bed; I should not have grimaced as he chimed in with his own melodious (and odorous) bass.
I should have been impressed that he was on beat and touched at the abundance of JOY that was produced by our loving gesture. He simply HAD to exhibit those emotions! His heart was FULL! (Well, SOMETHING was.)

It has all become so CLEAR now. The cloud has been lifted! (Until one of my testosterone-filled family members decides to "love" me again.)
I just couldn't keep this knowledge to myself, so I am getting the word out.
Men and women alike will thank me for generations to come.
You are welcome.


  1. HA!!!!!!!!!! I laughed so hard when I read this Becky! You truly have a gift for written humor! That and your "testosterone" filled life gives you lots of fodder for it I suppose! ;)

  2. You are kidding me. I had it wrong all these years! So when they make flame throwers with their "loving expressions," I should be grateful?? :D

    This is one "breaking news" scoop I will not be sharing with them. No way. I'll stick with my Google translator and the gas mask.

    Hilarious! And thanks for the mention.


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