Rebuilding Our Shattered Marriage

My marriage was a solid, beautiful, glass vase that wasn't strong enough to survive hitting a concrete floor. (Imagine that.)
I often treated my husband, Clay, as if he had picked up the vase and thrown it at the ground; but in reality, we gradually nudged that vase closer and closer to the edge of the counter until one day when we were in the throws of making excuses for our poor behavior, we threw our hands out and our marriage sailed through the air and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces on the hard surface below.

It has been a long process to pick up all the pieces and glue them back together. It has taken years of reaching into the brokenness. Each time we put out our hand to pick up a sliver, we knew that we would most likely get wounded. We were often tentative. Shards dug deep. We ended up bloody. It hurt, and yet we kept reaching toward wholeness. We could see something beautiful forming. The Holy Spirit was the glue holding us together. We trusted that the sacrifice was going to be worth it.

A few months ago, this analogy of the vase came to me. Vividly.
The truth of it resonated deep within me. It was a gift from God. This mental picture changed me and exponentially sped up our healing process.
After this revelation, each time I wanted to be mad at Clay, each time I wanted to be a martyr because I hurt so badly, I began to stop and TRULY look at him. I revisited the vase and saw Clay's bloody hands. I saw him still reaching into the broken glass at great cost to himself. I saw love...even though I may not have FELT it. Clay was still choosing US, and God's supernatural grace began filling our home.

We wanted to like each other again, but had no idea how to get there. Walls were up. We could not find victory on our own. We started praying that God's Holy Spirit would fill us, and HIS will would be done. In each of us. Through our marriage. For HIS glory.
Once we truly BELIEVED that prayer, God was able to move.

It's only been a few months, but I wanted to share: by the grace of God, our marriage has been healed. Life is still challenging. We are still human. Life is still messy, but we are ONE.
Team players. Friends. Lovers.
We have been undone. We were brought to our knees, and I am here praising God for all of the hard because we learned so very much. For this, I am truly thankful.

Dear brother or sister, know that prayer is our superpower. It's YOUR superpower.
When we pray that God gets glory through our lives, that HIS will (not our will) is done, our lives change. God is so immensely faithful.
And THEN, we get to tell others about the journey.
Great is the Lord and worthy of praise.
-Becky

P.S. I just had Clay read this and he said, "If you didn't know our story, you'd think I had an affair." I want to clarify that he did NOT indeed have an affair. Click here to read the story of our decline. On that note, know that God can even heal the type of shattering that comes from that kind of unfaithfulness - if we seek His face.