The Qualifier

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When I speak about my husband, I tend to share about rainbows and lollipops and romantic gestures. According to my blog and many conversations I have with friends, you'd think I married Superman.

I once had a friend say, "You don't even know how to complain about your husband properly. You always preface your remark with 'Clay is such a good man, I don't know WHY I'm so frustrated with ______.'" 

(That's some tricky punctuation - a quote within a quote at the end of a sentence? Looked funny, but it's right - I Googled it.)

I digress...

I'm here to announce that...
Wait for it...

Clay.
Is.
Not.
Superman.

He irritates me, he "ruins" moments, and (on occasion) he has a nose hair try to escape his right nostril. The thing is, if I choose to focus on the imperfections, I KNOW my marriage will be difficult. So, even when I'm alone with my own thoughts and catch myself glaring holes into the back of a family member's head...I try to stop myself. I try to list the things I love about them. I try to focus on the greater good. I try to focus on the bigger picture. I try NOT to focus on ME.

Notice I said, "I try..."
I'm not Superman (or Supergirl, or Wonder Woman) either.

How is your thought-life? Do others see the good in your spouse because that is what you have shown them? Do you defend and protect the good in your spouse? He/she is made in the image of God. There IS good there...are you looking for it? And are you letting your spouse know that you see it - and are thankful for it?

Challenge:
Let's write down all the things that our spouses do - that we may take for granted. And let's make sure that we DON'T take them for granted...at least not today.

• He went to work to earn money.
• He shares that money with me and the kids.
• He made more coffee than he needed so I would have some to drink too.
• He snuggled my son when he woke up.
• He called the bank. (I didn't have to!)
• He kissed me goodbye.
• He...

I bet this list will be pretty long. I think I might need to show him the list too.

No pictures PLEASE!

Photo Credit

My life would be easier without photography.
It may not be as well-remembered, but it would be easier.
Hmmm, without photos:

1. I wouldn't have guilt over scrapbooking (or should I say, NOT scrapbooking?)
2. I wouldn't get overwhelmed by the thought of ORGANIZING 10 million digital photos from the last 11 years (give or take).
3. I would never have a reason to think about how to hold my head "just so" to keep my face from looking fat.
4. I wouldn't have to come up with comical, clever little sayings to make my kids give AUTHENTIC smiles. (OK, sometimes I'm pretty funny and crack myself up, but sometimes it's a pain.)
5. I wouldn't have to see myself in photos and question the mirror that I look into each morning. (I KNOW my butt didn't look that big in those pants when I looked in my mirror - because if it had, I wouldn't have left the house in them.)
6. I wouldn't have to be judged by my photo Nazi friends as I DELETE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF PHOTOS. Do you know how many cute photos I have of my kids? If it's not funny or painstakingly adorable - DELETED!
7. I wouldn't have to question my heritage. Was my great-grandmother a Satan worshiping heathen? Because when I look at most photos, I think I have her eyes - fiery red.
8. I would get to experience each moment as it actually happens rather than seeing it through a camera lens.
9. I wouldn't be irritated that my kids quit being cute RIGHT WHEN I GOT OUT THE CAMERA. Instead, I would just enjoy them being cute.
10. I wouldn't have proof of how thin I use to be or how much hair Clay used to have...
    Oh wait. I remember why I LIKE having cameras. Proof.

Linked to Top Ten Tuesday and Hip Homeschool Hop

Irritating

Lately, I've been annoying myself.
I cringe at my behavior, but I can't STOP.

I keep thinking, "HOW do I have any friends? I'm sick of myself. Thank you, Lord, for big grace."

I'm just so stinkin' wishy-washy. 

(Well, today I think I am...tomorrow I'll probably think I'm just "flexible".)

One month, I am on a sugar-free, no-carb diet; and the next day I'm suggesting that we all go out for ice cream.

I want to lose weight so my pants will fit, but I also want to love myself and be content JUST as I am.
One moment, "I'm so excited about my new method for doing chores!"...or my new Bible reading plan...or a new habit I've started (see this blog post ). 
And the next minute, it was "just too difficult to maintain"...
Or I was "too tired to bother"...
Or "I was blogging, so chores just had to wait."

I just can't seem to make up my mind. Ever.

(Check that...I'm decisive all the time - my decisions just don't manage to stick for very long.)

*Did I just waffle about how indecisive I am? Oh bother...*

In Romans 7:14, Paul wrote, 

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

Oh Paul, you "GET" me!
It drives me CRAZY when people adamantly say they are "going to change"...and then they don't. And that is EXACTLY what I keep doing!

I know God has me on a path where my flaky patterns will eventually give Him glory as He shines His light and life into each little crevice of my world, and HE changes me. 
But what do I do in the meantime? (You know, during the beat-my-head-against-the-wall-because-I'm-just-not-learning-the-lesson stage.)

My vacillating opinions aren't even the main problem. 
In fact, they may not be the problem at all. (Yes, even MORE wavering as I keep proving my own point.)

The crux of it all is my need to SHARE about each. and. every. flip-flopping. thought.*sigh* 

If I would just control that little tongue of mine, nobody would have a clue how incredibly erratic my thoughts and opinions actually are. I could FOOL the world into think I'm not insane if I would just SHUT UP.

Source: hiphomeschoolmoms.com via Becky on Pinterest

Hmmm, the pastor has been doing a series on toxic behavior and controlling our tongues.

Our small group has also been studying James 3 which discusses the damning little organ of my body that can cause such large problems.

I think God might be shining a light on a dark spot already...and here I am - "talking about it."

Weekly Wrap Up

In our homeschool this week...
My boys participated in the local talent show at the elementary school. My husband joined them for a few entries. The "main event" was posted here, but the following videos are where my sons actually SANG while they played. A new milestone.

My boys also did presentations at home this week.
Our 5th grader presented about the Bill of Rights to the rest of the family (in a kinesthetic, fun way that might help little brother remember it). The fact that it involved dart guns made it that much more enjoyable.
Our 3rd grader taught his older brother about the scientific classification of animals (with a bit of inspiration from this link). He finished up the lesson by making his brother come up with his own mnemonic to remember the scientific categories.
The categories for classification are: Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species
So, big brother came up with this mnemonic:
Khaki Pants Constrict Old Fat Geezers Sometimes.
We've been laughing at that all week. Consider the order remembered.

Things I'm working on...
I also discovered a history website with timeline figurines I can print. They have all kinds of collections from different time periods.

Source: etc.usf.edu via Becky on Pinterest

I am making a card game out of the figures.
On one side will be the picture and the name of the character and on the others side will be the picture and a date.
We each get 5 cards placed face up in front of us. (with no dates showing)
Then, one card will get put in the middle of the table (date showing).
Each player will then take turns and place a card from their line of cards onto the timeline.
"Does it occur before or after the event/people/invention already in the middle of the table?"
If they guess wrong, they put their card back and draw a new card from the pile.
Once there are multiple cards in the middle of the table, it gets difficult. Events can happen before, after, or between events.
The first person that gets rid of their cards wins!
This is NOT my own concept. It is based on the timeline game that I bought.

Source: boardgamegeek.com via Becky on Pinterest

In my life this week...
At the breakfast table this week, I announced:
"Learning is a lifelong activity. It's not just something that happens in school - and since little brother forgot nearly EVERY SINGLE ONE of his multiplication facts last summer, we will continue reviewing and learning over the next few months. Don't worry, it will only be a little each day. A timed math drill here, an game of adjective eye-spy there..."
(you'll notice that I didn't mention writing - that would have been my downfall.)

They didn't even flinch. They just sat there with quizzical looks on their faces.
I think big brother was wondering how HE (with his extraordinary memory) was being lumped into my plan...and yet, he was torn - because he kind of LIKES learning.
Little brother was the one who shocked me. No complaints?
He REALLY doesn't want to forget how to multiply AGAIN.
(Oh, and long division! Let's not even think of having to RElearn long division.)

So there we sat. All in agreement. We would do a few minutes of school each day - just like we spend time reading our Bibles, doing our chores, and brushing our teeth.

It went so well...I might even up the ante.
I think I have come up with a BRILLIANT plan.
(I only hope it works as well as I keep daydreaming that it will.)
I am making a file folder full of writing "opportunities" where the boys can MAKE MONEY if they complete a writing assignment. We'll see how this goes...




 

My Family Rocks

It's a LITERAL statement at this house.

Most days, our whole house is rockin'...and rollin'.

To be honest, it is a figurative statement as well.

I'm so proud of my family. And with the end of school this week (and all the awards and acknowledgements my boys have been getting), I'm having a hard time not being boastful.

OK, I'm failing miserably at not boasting - I'M PUTTING IT ON MY BLOG.

Of course, I really can't take any of the credit anyway.

Clay and I may have fostered a talent or two, but God blessed my children.

I keep telling them that. 

Every gift, ability, or talent is a gift.

We need to make sure we thank God for all of it.

We need to make sure we give Him the credit.

HE DESERVES ALL THE GLORY and our many thanks.

Thank you, Lord, for my boys. Thank you for their musical ability, their intelligent minds, and their healthy, athletic bodies. And thank you for their father who pours into their lives and coaches them in all of these areas.

Now, we think glorifying God should include having some fun on most days. 

God is the giver of all that is good: laughter, joy...and the part of us that just has to tap our toes. So, so here is a taste of what glorifying God with our gifts looks like around here:

This was the local elementary school talent show. (My boys take music and gym there.) 

God is so good.

Romance Can Be a Choice

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What if we tried to see our marriages like romance novels?
Those books, *I've heard*, don't bother to discuss the mundane details in life.
(Nobody would read them.)
Instead, they focus on the highlights that happen throughout a day.
How much would our marriages change if we intentionally focused on the good thoughts that pop into our heads, nice gestures, and the way that our spouses fulfill their family responsibilities rather than taking them for granted?

Yes, sometimes mushy novels mention negative emotions or mundane activities; but even then, they lace them with attractive language. It's such a different situation than "real life" because the reader often gets to climb into the heads of all parties involved. Harsh actions can even "make sense" when loving thoughts are attached to them.
For instance, a book might say...
"He didn't want to lash out at her, she meant too much to him...so he held his tongue." (swoon)

How could that sentence make a gal swoon?
If this scenario happened in the average home, a typical wife (who couldn't possibly be me) might hear (or not hear) the quiet tongue and RAGE that her husband refuses to speak. It can definitely be a challenge not to be instantly irritated when Clay spouses respond with the silent treatment.

Now, let's stop and see how to "romance novel" this up...
What if he is silent to protect me? What if he does it so he doesn't make the situation worse? What if it is a way of LOVING me that I. just. can't. see. (or hear)

Romance is often a matter of perspective. Godly perspective.
We must CHOOSE to find and focus on the highlights in every moment.
We must give the benefit of the doubt to our spouse and climb into their shoes.

Will you join me? Let's take our gray, mundane situations and see something colorful - and worthy of the Song of Solomon.

"He could have rolled over and went back to sleep. He'd done it before when exhaustion had caught up with him, but this morning he wandered into the kitchen where I stood drinking a glass of water. I love it when it is just the two of us in a quiet house. I think he secretly loves it too, but even if he doesn't... he got up so I could have my sweet moment, and so that he could kiss me goodbye as I headed out the door.

He knows how good it is for our marriage when he starts his day on the couch reading his Bible, so while I was gone - that's just what he did. How could I NOT love this man. Many days he chooses to do what is best, when he'd prefer to sneak a few extra minutes in our warm bed.

After walking with the neighbors, I came home to the smell of coffee. He always makes us coffee. On the weekends, when I'm home with him, he even brings me a cup – sweet and creamy just how I like it..."

Wow, that is quite a different way to look at my average morning. It could have said, "I got up and went walking. Clay got up, made a pot of coffee, and read."

I'll choose the first (but exactly the same) scenario, please - and maybe throw in a few steamy sections to boot.
All it takes is a choice. What will you choose?

Lice: *Are You Already Itching?*

One Rassi down. *shudder*
Luckily, only one of us was contaminated by the little buggers,
and this mama learned a lot.

Ten Things We Learned from "The Infestation":

1. My head will itch and CONVINCE me that I have lice even if I have JUST been checked. I was sure that my husband just wasn't looking closely enough. (Yes, I could never handle psychological warfare. If those are the tactics, and you are dependent on me for survival - get your affairs in order, we are all going down.)
2. Not too long ago, I wrote a post called "Thank God for Fleas". Well, I recently learned that thankfulness can apply to lice too. Our "lice epidemic" gave me quality time with my little boy. It allowed me to thank God (literally) for every hair on his precious little head.
3. We talked about how God knows just how many hairs he has...and how many nits were  attached to those hairs. We prayed together that God would lead us to each little egg or Mama...and protect us from their bites - and He did. We learned about trusting God in little things.
4. Many lice have grown resistant to the lice shampoos found in stores. Isn't that comforting? We couldn't even kill them! When I combed them out...they were still ALIVE. *shutter* (I've been shuddering a lot lately...luckily we caught it early and there weren't that many to deal with. Is it possible to shudder yourself to death?)
5. Plastic lice combs suck. It was time to use those saved up CVS extra care bucks and buy a metal lice comb. WORTH EVERY PENNY.
6. Lice has no socioeconomic bounds. When I told a missionary friend that we were dealing with lice, he laughed and said, "Wow, that is so third world." He made me laugh. Lice don't care how clean a house is, how affluent a country of residence is - or how much money a person makes. If there is a human head, lice want a piece of it (literally).
7. This particular enemy can't live off a head for more than 2 days and heat can also kill them. Everything went in the dryer on high heat for at least 30 minutes. My son got to sleep with his blankie right away without waiting two weeks for it be sealed up in a trash bag (which is what I THOUGHT we would have to do). So we were able to relax (well, kind of) while we kept checking heads knowing that if they were in our house - THEY WOULD DIE.
8. Lice don't like hair products. If there is a lice epidemic at school, put some gel in your kids' hair before they leave the house. It's a perfect time to experiment with that mohawk the boy has always wanted...or attempt perfect little immovable curls for little girls.
9. I learned how beautiful innocence and vulnerability can be. I love that my son didn't know to be "embarrassed". He did nothing wrong. There was no reason for shame. He happily announced his situation to all his little friends - and their parents. (I internally cringed at times - and made it CLEAR to all that he had been deloused even though we were still avoiding sleepovers and still not sharing hats or brushes with others.) I was struck by his innocence and the freedom that came in not "hiding" things...even when we might be judged.
10. I learned that A LOT of people have been infested with lice. Funny how my son's openness caused others to share their own stories freely. Isn't life like that though? When we are vulnerable with others and share our successes through the struggle, others begin to see the value in their own pain - and begin to share.

This post is linked up with NOBH and Top Ten Tuesday