Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Ten Quotes from 3 Days

In a restaurant on our way to Toledo, Ohio, I heard myself say:
1. "Stop stealing his french fries - they are the only part of the meal he is actually eating (and you're making him mad)."
2. "Did you just move the table over so he would get TRAPPED under it?"
3. "Please don't tell him that he has to pee in a cup, let him out of the booth so he can use the restroom."
All of these statements were said TO MY HUSBAND.
I am not easily shocked; but on occasion, I do a double-take at what I hear coming out of the mouths of my family members (including my own).

When we got to our Toledo hotel, we discovered that neither of my boys packed a toothbrush. (They remembered DS games and movies for the car, but nothing they could use for hygiene). The hotel would have sold us a toothbrush for a measly $6...but cheap frugal that we are, we sent them to bed with stanky breath and grimy teeth and plans to shop the next day.
We skipped the store before our early judo tournament due to time, so one of my boys tried to use his halitosis for his benefit. He said, 4."I breathed on him in hopes that he'd pass out, and I could get out of the pin." Too bad it didn't work, we would gladly be skipping brushing for ALL future judo events.

When we finally had time to hit the local discount megastore, our 3rd grader found a toothbrush and begged  5. "It has my name on it AND it lights up. Please Mama, please, please, please can I have it?" (batting eyelashes at Grandma while innocently smiling at me. Did I mention that my parents came along on this trip?) I went ahead and bought it. (It's such a small price to pay for the joy of my offspring.) Oh wait, at the checkout, we discovered that the toothbrush cost us $6! I should have just saved myself the trip and bought one at the hotel.

My mother is quite conservative. I respect her greatly for her desire to bring God glory through her speech and actions. I am also VERY AWARE that my husband has a different view of what brings God glory...and I sometimes feel stuck between these two worlds. I'm not sure how many times this weekend that I said to ALL THREE OF MY MEN, 6."Oooo, please don't say/do/think that in front of Grandma..."

At one point in the past three days, my youngest son strode casually through the hotel suite living room on his way to the bathroom. He was buck naked and loudly announced, 7."I have to take a dump before I shower." Then, he proceeded to lock the bathroom door because he 8."needed some privacy." 
Does anyone else see the irony in this picture? I pointed it out to him...and he snickered.

We visited the Toledo Art Museum on our last day away - which was AWESOME (and free). While there, we were able to watch a glass blowing exhibition AND listen to some chamber music recitals (many musicians were blowing wind instruments). These two experiences sparked many comments and chuckles centered around the fact that  9."Toledo Art Museum REALLY blows." 

After returning home on Sunday, I was thinking about the bathroom I saw at the glass museum (and wondering if the glass sinks had been hand-made). I started mentally redecorating our own master bathroom and asked, "If we take down this mirror and replace it, where would we put this HUGE old mirror?" My husband (with toothbrush hanging out of his mouth) pointed into the bedroom - at the ceiling.
10. "No we are NOT hanging it THERE," I replied. (That'll teach me to dream about redecorating.)

These are just a few of the statements that I remember from our trip away. (The ones I can blog about without COMPLETELY losing all of your respect.)
I love my family and how much they make me laugh...even if their actions sometimes make me question my own ears...or mouth.

This post is linked up to Top Ten Tuesday and Hip Homeschool Hop


  1. Oh how funny! I'm always reminding my kids to behave out in public, so people don't think we're completely uncivilized!

  2. "...my youngest son strode casually through the hotel suite living room on his way to the bathroom. He was buck naked and loudly announced, 'I have to take a dump before I shower.' Then, he proceeded to lock the bathroom door because he 'needed some privacy'."
    I'm rolling on the floor laughing. THIS IS MY LIFE! Too funny. And I can't tell you how releived I am to know my family members are not the only ones who act/talk/think like this. Husband included.

    You do so much to affirm me... just by being you. Love you girl!

  3. This is hilarious!! I wish I would capture more of these types of moments for our family.

    Hopping over from the Hip Homeschool Hop!

  4. Ok, another incredible blog post to read! I just love your family and the humor you bring into life! :)

  5. Thanks for the love gals! I had a lot of fun WRITING this post.

  6. Oh my goodness, laughing hilariously over here!! Love these quotes!!

  7. Hilarious! It is amazing what you can turn up in a day with your children! So many things you thought you would never hear yourself so, or find yourself doing! Thanks for linking up with us over at NOBH!

  8. That's hilarious! I recently started keeping track of those kinds of quotes...stuff you never thought you'd have to say/need to say/get caught saying. I blame the kids...and the husband. :) God bless you!


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