Sometimes I get quiet.
Don't laugh, it's been known to happen.
Unfortunately, it usually means that something is wrong...
When my husband notices the lack of chatter in the room, I often hear, "You alright? Seems like you've got something on your mind."
He is willing to let me process out loud. He's a good man (he actually LIKES it when I talk).
This method works GREAT - when I'm thinking about our children, their schoolwork, or prayer concerns for friends. I'm soon back to my gabby self.
Sometimes I'm quiet because I'm irritated at HIM and trying to talk myself down from the emotional ledge I'm teetering on. I know that I am too
I know I should shut up, but I need a healthy response to his innocently asked, "Whatcha thinkin' about?"
I mean, if he's ASKING, then it must be the PERFECT time to share how irritated I am that he sat on the couch while smelling like a campfire (right after I casually pointed out that he was stinking up my upholstered chair by doing the same thing).
Wait. Maybe it's not the perfect time to speak. It is however, the time to put my tongue in my pocket (wouldn't THAT be a nice feature) and pray.
Our marriage and my respectful behavior toward him mean more than ANY silly couch. I need to keep that in mind. Things will go much better if I let the Holy Spirit work in both of our attitudes instead of lecturing him like I'm his MOM.
Yes, this example is a bit ridiculous with it's smoky clothes and couches and such; but this kind of simple scenario happens all the time - and destroys marriages.
So, I'm looking for the perfect response when I need to uncharacteristically be quiet.
If I say, "I don't want to talk about it," I would be lying - and he might probe further.
(I'm not strong enough to resist pointing and blaming and complaining at him TWICE in a row.)
Maybe I just need to say, "I'm throwing an internal temper tantrum right now, and I need to talk to God about it rather than you...so pray that Wisdom prevails."
Yep, he'll still know it's about him...but he's a smart guy - and prayer is a much safer (and more powerful) choice than getting me to talk about what's in my head in that moment.
Clay is so gracious with me. I am TRYING to be gracious with him as well.
I'm so glad that God's grace is sufficient enough for both of us.