Sunday, February 5, 2012

Pink and Blue

A sister of two brothers, I learned early in life that taking a punch without flinching earned me more respect than frills and bows would.
In that childhood world, pink was a color saved for sissy little girls - and I was NO sissy.
So, I spent years despising everything pink.

Somewhere after college I discovered that being a "sissy little girl" could have its advantages in the right situations - and I embraced never again having to lift heavy objects if there was a guy nearby to sucker into lifting them for me "save me".
I began to warm to the idea of being "softer" while still being strong in my own way.

When God blessed me with boys, I wasn't just open to the softer side of things, I began to CRAVE them...and in the midst of it, I found myself drawn to all things pink.
Pink is feminine. It is foreign to what is "normal" around here. It is distinctly "Mom".
I like it.

I've been reading Love and Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs.
It's a book worth reading if you ever have to interact with someone of the opposite sex. (spouse, sibling, child, neighbor...) It's given me some giggles and some new insight.

The book suggests that boys (and their Y chromosomes) hear with blue earphones, speak with blue megaphones and see through blue glasses. On the other hand, a gal (blessed with two X chromosomes) interacts and interprets the world while hearing, seeing and speaking pink.
These different perspectives make for some interesting misunderstandings.
Neither gender is WRONG, they are just very different.

This is Evan's "figuring something out face". He needs it a lot when I speak. It cracks me up.

In my house, the pink/blue confusion can look something like this:

Pink says, "The boys are GONE tonight! Let's pick up some tacos and watch movies on the couch."
Blue hears, "You don't have to shower today because we aren't going anywhere!"

Pink says, "Please clean your rooms."
Little blue ears hear, "Quickly hide the mess so Mom will let you play video games."

I have a lot of fun thinking about this pink/blue paradigm.
I know I can sound like Charlie Brown's teacher to the blue listeners in my home, but my new perspective has helped me laugh about it. I have been trusting that my family isn't purposefully TRYING to stomp on my expectations. (And I've been claiming the reality that my desires may not even be on their radars.)

No worries. I plan to become bilingual someday. I plan to speak blue, or at least understand it when I step back and REALLY listen. And in the meantime, I plan to put funny words in their mouths and blog about them (with their permission) until I get the actual translations all figured out.


  1. I can see this played out so clearly in my house. I have a lot of blue in my house. It's such an interesting contrast to hold C up against all the blue and look at how she hears and perceives things differently. She gets me. She is always translating to the boys for me. It cracks me up. (And encourages me, because I know the lack of cooperation I get isn't so much failure on my part, just the difference between pink and blue.) I'll have to pick this book up. Sounds very beneficial. You know what's funny? I used to despise the color pink. Until I had C, and now I love that color. :)

  2. I love the Love and Respect book. Even though I am not bilingual YET, I am starting to understand the different languages going on in our house :) I enjoyed reading the words you put in your families' mouths :) I totally pictured it with comic strip bubbles coming out of your heads :) I must brag now about my husband and say that Amos has really been studying the pink language and working hard to communicate it :) I only hope he feels I am doing the same...I should talk to him about it :)

  3. 1 pink against 3 blues...I understand how you feel! :)

  4. I also grew up avoiding pink, and now I love it because, like you said, it means "Mom." (I live with three blues just like you.) I'll be looking for this book.


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