What If I Don't Want To Be Strong?

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
  Philippians 4:13

I pull this verse out of the arsenal when my boys are struggling with confidence. I hand it to them to use as a weapon against self-doubt. I also chant it to myself when I am determined to conquer or to overcome. 

Today, I read the words for the umpteenth time and realized that I've not been using them to their full potential. Sure, I recall them when I need help doing some things, but the verse says I can have strength in ALL things.
Hmmmm....What about the moments when I don't WANT to get Christ involved because I want MY way? Maybe this verse is meant for those things too...

No, no, I'm not claiming that 'through Christ who strengthens me', I can get my way. (Just THINK of the damage I could cause if it worked that way. *wince*)
On the contrary...

I think Christ wants to give us strength to do those things that we are not naturally motivated to do. He wants to show Himself by strengthening us in supernatural ways.

When I would rather stomp my feet, cross my arms and hold my breath until my expectations are met...Christ can strengthen me - even when I don't WANT to be strong.
Since I won't want to turn to God and ask for help when I'm emotionally charged, I am stopping to pray right now (while I still remember what truth and health and love are SUPPOSED to look like) - and I'm asking for Him to provide HIS strength to me later.

I'm praying now... for strength when I want to guilt my children into obedience rather than lovingly educate them. I pray that Christ fills me with love and compassion for their immature little hearts rather than self-pity or anger when they disobey.

I'm praying now...that I hold my tongue when my husband parents our children in his own manly way (rather than the motherly way I prefer). I pray that Christ fills me with grace and the knowledge that God CHOSE this man to parent our little boys alongside me...and that He silences my self-righteous, sappy mom mentality.

I pray now...to thrill at my husbands touch when he comes home, that energy jolts through me like it did when we were dating - because later, it will have been a LONG day and I know I will be too tired (on my own) to show him the love he deserves.

I pray now, that I go against what my culture tells me is JUSTIFIED and choose to love the unlovely. When that "In-law" makes the critical comment and I want to be defensive, when that other mother makes a snide remark, when the stranger cuts me off in traffic...Lord, help me FEEL love for them. Help me to see THEIR pain and YOUR perspective...and not dwell in my own.

In the calm, we often know the promises of God. We know that His plans are better than ours. We know that our purpose is Love and that out lives are not about our own comfort. But later, in the chaos, we may choose to let fear, anger, or self-pity muffle that voice of truth.
So, let's be proactive.
Let's pray NOW that Christ does through us what we can't naturally do on our own. Let's pray that we can supernaturally do ALL things.
Amen.